Sunday, December 12, 2010

Minion Speaks

The boss is bored with the current layout. He doesn't like sporadic posting anymore. He says, why can't we have regular editions like those other guys do? Why do we have to sit around here twiddling our claws waiting for someone to send us a story to publish?

He says, let's publish several stories, all at once, every other month or so.

So that's what we're doing.

Also, he says, ditch the lighthouse theme. I try to explain to him the idea that these are postcards, and you get lighthouses on postcards, but he just looks at me and says, do you think I'm stupid?

No, sir, I say. Of course not.

He says, yes I do. I think you think I'm like stupid or something.

I would never think that, I say. Because he can read minds. When he wants to read your mind, he opens your skull up and reads it like a newspaper over his morning toast.

I'm deeply hurt by this, Minion, he says. Lose the effing lighthouse or I won't let you wear your Gene Simmons makeup. I'll make you dress up like Peter Criss.

Yes sir, I say. So the design is going to change to coincide with the publication of Vol. 2 - Postcards from the Woody End in a few days.

All the previous postcards are now collected under a single Postcards From... Vol 1.

Now, if' you'll excuse me, I have a fifth of sloe gin waiting for me in my doghouse in hell. I need something to take the edge off... a katana.

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