Knee-deep Thoughts, by Hack Jandy

When we started up this little venture, we thought we'd need a nice quiet corner of hell to set up our office, someplace secluded, but still close enough to the Lake of Fire so we wouldn't have to walk too far to take a dump. So we asked the level manager to arrange something and naturally he stuck us next to the break room.

Since then, I've noticed something about microwave popcorn that I'd like to share. I know, I know - this is hell. Why do we need microwaves to pop popcorn? Why can't we just lay the bags on the ground and pop them with the heat emanating from our cloven hooves?

Because then the bag catches fire, silly! And you know how awful burned popcorn smells. There's a whole level of hell set aside especially for middle managers - and it smells like burned popcorn.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to say, if you really smell microwave popcorn, and I mean smell it honestly, from a distance, without any thought as to actually eating it, it doesn't smell that much different than smelly tennis shoes. Some brands more than others. But there is a fine line between the smell of microwave popcorn and the smell of old sneakers.

Something to think about while you're waiting for your first Postcard from Hell. Something else to think about - the flavoring in microwave popcorn gives people lung disease. But at least it's convenient, right?